What would you go through for some beef jerky and a lighter?

Police: Wis. woman strips to avoid arrest

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) - Police say a Wisconsin woman stripped in front of her children in an attempt to avoid arrest for shoplifting, then scuffled with officers and exposed herself through a squad car window.
Julia E. Laack, 36, of Sheboygan was charged Friday with felony battery of a peace officer, resisting an officer, shoplifting and two counts of disorderly conduct, the Sheboygan Press reported.
The criminal complaint alleges Laack stole a bag of beef jerky and a lighter at a convenience store Thursday afternoon. Police went to her home. The complaint said she refused to come to the door and began screaming and swearing at three children in her house, telling one that the incident was all his fault.
Police entered and tried to calm her down. With her children present, the complaint said, she stripped to her underwear and told the officers they couldn't arrest her because she would be naked.
Laack struggled with the officers as they tried to arrest her, the complaint alleged, kicking one in the groin and spitting in the mouth of another.
While in the squad car on the way to the police station, the complaint said, Laack exposed her buttocks against the rear window.
The complaint said Laack had a preliminary blood-alcohol level of 0.112 percent. The legal blood-alcohol limit for driving is 0.08 percent.
Laack remained in jail Friday night. A man who answered the phone at her home declined comment.

Sheriff: Bones at Garrido home buried long ago

ANTIOCH, Calif. (AP) - The Contra Costa County Sheriff's office said Friday that bone fragments dug up from the backyard of kidnapping suspect Phillip Garrido's home and a neighboring property probably belonged to American Indians buried a long time ago.
Sheriff's spokesman Jimmy Lee said that while scientists at a state forensics lab were unable to pull any DNA from the bones, an anthropologist concluded the fragments were likely human, but probably old.
Investigators uncovered the bones while searching for evidence in the kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard, as well as other unsolved abductions and murders.
Garrido and his wife, Nancy, have been charged with kidnapping and rape in Dugard's 18-year disappearance.
Lee said investigators are looking into reports that Phillip Garrido was seen before his arrest with two young girls who were not the daughters he fathered with Dugard. The information came from someone who knew Garrido, but so far detectives have not found any evidence to corroborate the sighting.
Anyone who may have seen Garrido recently in the company of two girls about 6- or 7-years-old should contact the Sheriff's office, Lee said.

Well this clearly explains why people in the home kept vanishing into the television set. Probably why he kept his captures in tents out back. Smart thinking on his part. Strangly enough, Garrido was seen pushing a 17" color television set out of his cell before guards locked him in. 'They're here...' That's just dumb.

Dallas police seek naked backyard dancer

DALLAS (AP) - Dallas police are looking for a man who they say repeatedly sneaks into backyards, dances around naked and then runs away.
Police believe the man has been exposing himself in the same neighborhood since 2005. The most recent incident was on Sept. 30.
Police say he usually climbs a fence or goes through a gate and either dances naked or jumps in a swimming pool naked. Police say he also has danced naked on top of a backyard air conditioning unit.
Police say they're looking for a pudgy man who is about 6 feet tall and covers his face while dancing.
Dallas Police Senior Cpl. Janice Crowther says police want to catch him before it escalates into something worse.

Something worse? Holy hell!!! He's going to start line dancing isn't he? Awesome! Can't wait for him to do Slapp'n Leather. So hot!

Police: Karaoke singer attacked over performance

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) - Police say a woman singing karaoke in a Connecticut sports bar was attacked by six other women who didn't like her performance.
Five of the women were arraigned on assault and other charges on Wednesday in Stamford Superior Court. The other woman appeared in court Monday on the same charges.
Police say the Sept. 23 attack on the 25-year-old woman from Port Chester, N.Y., happened during karaoke night at Bobby Valentine's Sports Gallery Cafe in Stamford.
Authorities say the six women, all under the legal drinking age of 21, knocked the singer to the floor, punched her and pulled her hair. The victim suffered bruises and a chipped tooth.
The victim has said she was singing "A Dios Le Pido" by Colombian superstar Juanes when the violence began.

Ky. pastor who promoted guns in church quits

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) - A Kentucky pastor who hosted a rally celebrating God and guns a few months ago has resigned his ministry to promote gun rights and church security.
Ken Pagano held the "Open Carry Celebration" at New Bethel Church in south Louisville in June. But he is now working part time at a local gun range and helped form the International Security Coalition of Clergy. He formed the group with a New York rabbi who and they are promoting the use of armed and trained security at houses of worship.
Pagano told The Courier-Journal the church supported the rally, but he felt like a liability and he brought too much attention to the small congregation. He also said he was burned out with the ministry.

Much like Jesus told us in The Gospel of Smith-Wesson chapter 3 vrs 4-16.