Really?

Nevada man to jail for killing neighbor's puppy

RENO, Nev. (AP) - A Nevada man has been sentenced to up to 2 1/2 years in jail for killing his neighbor's puppy.
Daniel Thomas Wells earlier pleaded guilty to a charge of "killing an animal of another" in the beating death of the 6-month-old chihuahua in May.
Washoe County Deputy District Attorney Derek Dreiling says the case was elevated to felony status because there was evidence of malice. He says Wells had been drinking, had a bad day at work and ended up acting inappropriately when the neighbor's dog got on his nerves.
Wells was sentenced to 12 months to 30 months in jail, but Dreiling said if he's a model inmate, he may end up serving less than a year.

Update: Mr. Wells has already been offered a 3 year 12.5m contrack with the Phil. Eagles upon release from jail. Rumor has it Nike is interested in signing him as a 2010-2011 spokes person for their new line of shoes, "The Vick K9 Killa's". Good luck Mr. Wells. Get your hands on some homemade wine. You can trade it for not getting butt raped by the bigger guys.

Man, 81, finishes race after borrowing a catheter

MINNEAPOLIS — Organizers of the Twin Cities Marathon said they won't disqualify an 81-year-old runner who won his age group after using a borrowed catheter. Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Mich., was sidelined at an aid station about 21 miles into Sunday's race because a blood clot prevented him from urinating. The aid station had no catheter, but a spectator stepped forward to offer Johncock a catheter he had in his car.
Aides helped insert the catheter and Johncock went on to finish in a little over 5 hours 22 minutes.
Race officials considered disqualifying Johncock because of a rule against improper assistance. But executive director Virginia Brophy Achman said they decided Johncock didn't break the rule.
She called Johncock "a great role model and example of what you can do as a runner."
Johncock's wife, Dorlene, said her husband was cheered by the ruling. She said he found the whole situation a little humorous.

Pardon? A spare cath in the car? WTF? Who the hell is going through so many caths that they have to keep spares in the car? What is happening?

Dead deer in clown suit left on Iowa porch

SIOUX CITY, Iowa — You'll never see this clown in the circus. Animal control officers in Sioux City, Iowa, say someone dressed a dead deer in a clown suit and wig and put it on a family's porch. Officers suspect it was a prank, considering Halloween is approaching, but they say it's not funny, safe or acceptable.
The deer was discovered Wednesday morning.
Animal Control Officer Jake Appel says leaving a dead animal is immature and illegal. He says officers will dispose of the deer properly.
Sioux City police have not opened an investigation.

Awww c'mon. It's a little funny.

Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize places him in the company of Jimmy Carter and Al Gore — the noted "worst president ever" and the guy who invented the Internet. Maybe now Obama can reinvent the Internet and take Jimmy’s title away from him. How naive I was to once think that Nobel prizes meant something.
— Rod, Granbury

Oh Rod, don't worry. Soon, your favorite ex-pres will hold the title of Worst President Ever. All in good time my friend. All in good time.

What are you right wingers so mad about. Obama made a valiant effort to appease you by suggesting to Nasa they should bomb the moon. We can't really bomb another country right now since Bush used up all of our Earthly bombs, so Obama did the next best thing...Sheesh guys, give him a break.

Saturday’s Star-Telegram told us that members of the State Board of Education took gifts that were not reported and that such actions conflict with state law. (See: "2 State Board of Education members did not report company’s gifts") We are not so naive to think every politician is honorable, but even at this level we learn people are not really interested in a world-class educational system for Texas children but only in lining their pockets with cash and gifts.
The political world is sleazy; we just don’t have any idea how sleazy.
— Michael, Fort Worth

Thanks Michael aka. Cap'n Effing Obvious.

To anyone out there who might think about leaving your children in your car because you can’t find a babysitter: Here is my phone number — 817-999-2155. Please call me and, if I can’t help you, I will find someone who can.
— Lucky, Bedford

Sadly, Lucky wrote this letter to the editor on his Blackberry while sitting inside his still running car in a closed garage. The voicemail on the number now directs you to funeral arrangments.

FML